Long time...

Has it been over a month since my last post already? Time flies when you are so so busy...And with busy I mean BUSY! I had another exam last week, and I have no idea how it went. Furthermore I am working on getting a new room somewhere in the city. I am starting to feel more uncomfortable in the one I have right now. Just the whole atmosphere in the house is not nice, and I - even unconsciously - try to spent as little time in my room as possible. The university library is my new home. 

Feelings of this week

What I have experienced the last couple of days was a very strange feeling...Since the summer I lost 23 pounds. And being just 5''3, that is quite a difference. I didn't recognize myself when I gained 20+ pounds in just a year, and now I don't recognize myself after I have lost them. Its been around 3 three years that I was at my current weight. I thought that this weight loss progress was just physical, but it is also emotional and a mental process and change. Today I was shopping for new clothes. I was surprised that the smaller size I was trying on, a 6-8, was even too loose, and that I had to try on an even smaller size. The thought that went through my head was; but I'm not worthy of trying on a size 4-6. And a couple of seconds later I thought about what went through my head. Why am I not worth to try on a smaller size? Do I still see the bigger girl that I saw for over a year in the mirror. Do you not understand that your body has changed? Do you not understand that it is time to appreciate and love yourself? Jess, for this one time, accept yourself the way you are. I achieved one goal, which was to loose weight. How much, I don't know. But I didn't really achieve my other goal. Feeling confident, at ease and proud of my body. That is a whole different process than my first goal. While shopping I looked in the mirror every once in a while and said to myself; Be proud...look at you! But then a minute later I felt like the big girl again. Shaming yourself for so many years really does have an effect on you. No matter what, my first thought will always be gross, or disgusting. I am not sure why I think like this at all times, but it is something I need to work on. It is a long process of acceptance and loving myself for the person I am at this moment. I have counted calories since I was 15 years old, so I have 7 years of calorie amounts in my head. You say the product and I will tell you how much calories and fat it has. Somehow I want to find a balance between eating healthy but not counting calories. Yet, it gives me the feeling of control and decreases my fears. And that feeling is addictive. And it needs to stop. So right now I'm on a journey towards a healthy calorie intake and a positive self image. If you have any good recipes, preferably vegetarian, or food bloggers, feel free to share :)

Healthy living #3 weightloss

As I wrote in my first post of 2014, this new year meant some changes for myself, including to lose weight. I can honestly say that on new years (eve) and the first of January I had no resolutions at all. I thought it was complete bull because if I wanted something to change I would do it already. However, two days later I was thinking about 2013. This was just an awful year for me, the hardest, disappointing year. I couldn't wait to leave that all behind. That morning I was standing in my room and looked at myself in the mirror. Not just for a second, but for minutes. Who was this girl that I was looking at. The sad eyes, the body that I didm't recognized. What had I done to my body? What crap did I feed it the past six months. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

I had a hard time recognizing the girl I used to be. I gained over 15 pounds in just 4 months, unfortunately not muscles, but fat. I didm't recognize my face, and my love handles were bigger than ever. Well, lets just say that this was a huge wake up call. From that day on, 17 days ago, I am eating clean. I have lost 5 pounds and am slowly starting to get some confidence. I will get back into sports, but don't want to start to soon. In the past I would stop eating and work out like crazy, but that never worked. So this time I am taking it slow.

Yummy and healthy food inspiration

I love experiencing with food and trying out new things. I am a person that gets bored easiliy, with anything in life. Including food. I want to eat healthy, clean but also something with a delicious taste. I was browsing around and saw so many wonderful things and yummy looking pictures that I will share some to make your mouth water. (Pictures are - unfortunately- not mine)
Enjoy <3

Post detox

This post is later than planned, but due to personal circumstances I was not able to update. 

So last week I did a 5 day detox, just to try it out. I did not make use of any professional guidance, but did my research on the internet and the library and found the right recipes and tips. 

Overall it was harder than I thought it would be. The most difficult day was definitely day 2, and maybe day 3. During day 2 I thought about quitting like a 1000 times. My body was craving carbs and peanutbutter. I was wondering why I was doing this and found about 100 excuses why I should just stop and have a big feast. I cannot even put into words how bad I wanted to stop and why on earth I thought this was a good idea. I decided to just go to bed, as this would take my mind of the thing that was on my mind: Fooood!

However, I did not stop, and as this day went by it became easier. I noticed that during the week I became less present, as my head was kind of empty. I didn't really interact and felt sleepy.  However, I could feel that my body was 'enjoying' it. And one positive outcome was my face. It started glowing and when I told my mom that I did a detox the past week she said she could tell by my face. It was more shining and looked healthy. 

After the detox I noticed that I my stomach was full much quicker, however after a week I have my before appetite again.  ( It was a nice feeling, I think I will try to eat smaller meals. I have the tendency to eat three big meals because I like that feeling. However, this can result in an addiction, and you can make those three big meals into 6 each day. Therefore eating smaller portions will be much better for me personally.)

I would recommend something like this after your work or school is over. Take a week off, have no meetings or gym appointments and treat yourself on raw spinach, lettuce and apples. I will do this again when I feel I had a busy period or had too much junk to eat. For next time I will plan something to do on day 2. Because I was by myself I had the temptation to go to the store and buy food. Being around people that are aware of your detox, they will be able to motivate you and stop you from taking decision you will regret later on.  

(And for the people wanting to loose weight by a detox, I lost like two pounds, but they are back again )

Detox - day 1

Today was the first day of my detox, and I was a bit worried what to expect. It was both better and worse than expected. I got 2 questions, one concerning making juices and another about prices.  At the moment I don't have a blender/mixer, so therefore I bought juices that consists of only fruits. And this goes together with the second question, whether or not it is expensive. It can cost as much as you allow yourself. 

For this weeks groceries I got lettuce, spinach, advocados, lemon juice (2x), lime juice, 3 limes, oranges, cilantro, celery, cervil, 5x pure fruit juice, watermelon, apples and a different kind of lettuce for 23 dollars. I think this is alright as that is just a little more on what I spend on groceries (usually 17). But again, it is up to what you think you want or need. Most expensive for me were the fruit juices. As I cannot blend anything I need to buy them..however it is always more expensive in the store, especially if you want the clean juice, without any sugar. The store needs more fruit for that, so it is going to cost some more.

Breakfast
This morning I had a mash up of two fruit juice drinks. They were natural, so nothing added but the pure fruit, like a smoothie. I had a mix of red fruit and orange juice. The first one contained strawberries, blackberries and cherries. Together with the orange juice it was actually quite tasty... this accounted for around 13 ounces. 

Lunch

For lunch I had a salad consisting of :
- ice berg lettuce
- raw spinach leaves
- three slices of lime
- half of an avocado
- cilantro
- celery
- chervil
- +/- 12 cherry tomatoes
- squeezed lemon juice as dressing

I am not a fan of the cilantro, celery and chervil (C^3), but have read several times that they are good to use when detoxing. Too bad that I cannot mix anything, otherwise I didn't have to taste them. (This took me like 30 minutes to eat...not sure why)

Snack

About 1.5 hrs after I had lunch my stomach was asking for food. Therefore I ate half an orange and some slices of watermelon. (Watermelon was not that yummy yet, we need more sun). A little after this I had a glass of juice consisting of apple, pear and raspberry, which was very yummy but not that filling. 

Dinner

I had the same salad as I had for lunch, expect not the 3 C's...I am trying to open up to their taste but it might take some time before we are friends. I also had a glass of warm water and lemon. 

Feelings

About 30 minutes after lunch my stomach started to irritate. After that it settled, but it didn't take long before it was hungry again. What I don't like is that you cannot really control  your blood sugar levels. Fruit is high in (natural) sugar, which gives you a high. But a little while after, you land back down and it really hits you. You start feeling sleep, lazy and don't feel like doing anything. So I have to find a good balance between what I can eat and avoid getting such a high. Apart from feeling drowsy I am actually alright...Although I can tell my body is already craving a peanutbutter sandwich. Oh man...this is going to be a loooong week.

Healthy Living

I remember my mom taught me all about nutrition from a very young age. What we need (and don't need) and what it does to our bodies. We went to the grocery story and market together, picked out ingredients and cooked together. I strongly believe that healthy living = happy living. It is amazing how nutrition can influence our well being, our thoughts and our happiness. Does this mean that I am always eating healthy? Hell no. You know, we are only human, and we all have cravings. So they key word you are looking for is *ding ding ding*, moderation. Yes you can have that piece of chocolate, or those crisps. But, you also need to eat your fruits and veggies.

So don't eliminate your snacks, do exercise and make your own meals. Try to limit salt intake and measure your blood pressure just to be sure. You can develop a healthy lifestyle by looking at the food pyramid. What should my diet look like? What is the right composition? And avoid dieting because you are most likely to bounce back to your starting weight, if not more. (Believe me, gained 15 pounds plus an extra 10 pounds right back). 

Breakfast

- 1 or 2 whole grain sandwiches with peanut butter or cheese, or whatever you enjoy

- Blueberry soy yogurt + flaxseeds and 1 apple or banana

- Scrambled eggs with low fat cheese

Lunch

- 2 whole grain sandwiches with peanut butter 2 and tangerines (or any fruit)

- Salad, in which you can throw in anything, like rice, couscous, beets, avocado. 

Dinner

- Whole grain macaroni/spaghetti with veggies and, preferably home made, tomato sauce

- Potatoes with veggies and soy meat

- 2 whole grain wraps with veggies and soy meat

- 2 tacos, veggies, soy meat and/or low fat cheese

- Dinner salad e.g. lettuce, boiled egg, tomatoes, cucumber, croutons and bell pepper)

Many options are available as snacks, it depends the mood you are in. Sometimes you prefer sweet and sometimes more salty. Listen to what you are craving, and try yo use the healthy option available. Think of tangerines, oranges, cucumber, tomatoes, avocado, almonds, nuts, carrots, dried cranberries, yogurt, rice crackers etc. 

And I think that is it about my diet. When I am home during the weekends it is a little bit harder, as I cannot control what my parents buy. When you get your own groceries it is easier, because you are in control what goes in or what stays in the store. If you live at home you could ask your parents for a small part of their budget to get healthy options for yourself, or go shopping together and teach them about their food choices. 

Tips for grocery shopping

1. Make a list --> This will prevent you from making spontaneous purchases
2. Eat before shopping --> Having a full stomach will prevent you from buying too much food
3. Fresh food vs. canned --> Basically, every food that has a wrap or can around it is unhealthy. (no, not the lettuce)...Canned food has a lot of added salt, sugar and has a low amount of 'real' nutrients. On one hand it is cheaper, but less healthy. Besides, my mom grows all the veggies herself, and having grown up eating these foods, the differences are huge! Honestly, I cannot even eat canned food, the taste is not yummy. I would say go for fresh, than frozen, and at last canned. 
4. Don't get distracted. If there are certain aisles that you know will tempt you into buying something you shouldn't have, then don't enter. If you go to one store only, then you know your route. Spend a lot of time around veggies and fruits, and avoid the 'bad' places that might seduce you.

Diet tips

1. Treat yourself. Don't eliminate sweets or snacks, keep it in moderation. You should enjoy life, not punish yourself. 
2. Don't add salt to your dish. We don't realize it, but almost everything we eat already has salt in it. People in western countries eat more salt than they need, which results in the huge increase of cardiovascular diseases. I do want to stress the point that one pizza has your daily intake of salt already...So be creative and make your own. Ready to go tomato sauce also has a lot of salt, so think of making your own signature sauce (and limit the cheese)
3. Drink enough water. This for me is almost the key to feel fit. Our organs need water to function. When you don't drink enough water your body will retain the water that is in it because it is not being 'fed' with new fluids. Besides taking care of your organs, your skin and hair will thank you as well :)
4. Eat enough! Your body needs at least 1200 calories to function properly. Go below that number and your heart will eat its own muscle. Again, your body is a temple, give it the food that it needs to be strong and fit. 

Exercise

I do pilates 3x a week and more home workouts. And unfortunately, no excuses because no gym membership is needed. Just open Youtube and type in whatever you like to do, or what part of your body you want to focus on. I do have a gym membership, but get bored soon, and tend to stop for a little bit. And then I receive an e-mail from the gym saying I haven't been there for a while...great :)

I think the most important thing to living healthy is because YOU want to. It is not about dieting, it is about creating a lifestyle that does not go up and down. Don't follow some kind of diet, but change your lifestyle. Diets are temporarily...which means after a while you will go back to your old eating habits. Don't say you are on a diet, even if you are trying to lose weight. Say you changed your lifestyle, and try to eat more healthy. Your body and mind will be thankful. We need to nourish our bodies, and take care of them. 

If you have any recipes to share, either vegetarian, vegan or 'normal' let me know! What is your ultimate diet/stay healthy tip?

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