As I wrote in my first post of 2014, this new year meant some changes for myself, including to lose weight. I can honestly say that on new years (eve) and the first of January I had no resolutions at all. I thought it was complete bull because if I wanted something to change I would do it already. However, two days later I was thinking about 2013. This was just an awful year for me, the hardest, disappointing year. I couldn't wait to leave that all behind. That morning I was standing in my room and looked at myself in the mirror. Not just for a second, but for minutes. Who was this girl that I was looking at. The sad eyes, the body that I didm't recognized. What had I done to my body? What crap did I feed it the past six months. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
I had a hard time recognizing the girl I used to be. I gained over 15 pounds in just 4 months, unfortunately not muscles, but fat. I didm't recognize my face, and my love handles were bigger than ever. Well, lets just say that this was a huge wake up call. From that day on, 17 days ago, I am eating clean. I have lost 5 pounds and am slowly starting to get some confidence. I will get back into sports, but don't want to start to soon. In the past I would stop eating and work out like crazy, but that never worked. So this time I am taking it slow.
Here are some tips that have worked for me, as well as what I have studied.
* I eat 1500 calories, between 1400-1600. These calories consists of fibre, protein, veggies and fruit. At first I thought I thought that eating this amount of calories would be enough, but what those calories consist of is more important. You can eat 1500 calories consisting of fat and sugar, or of healthy nutrients.
* Divide your meals over the day, including snacks. I have 5 to 6 moments during the day that I eat something. (On average, not everyday). But if eating three or four times a day works for you, then go for it. It is handy to track what you eat, and 'evaluate' your eating pattern. This is the easiest way to keep track of what goes in and what needs to be different.
* Eat enough! Your body, including your organs, need 1200-1300 calories to function properly. Your heart needs food to pump. If you eat a low amount of calories it will slow down your metabolism, resulting in weight gain on the long term. It might seem a good thing to do because it makes sense. If I eat just a little I will lose the weight really soon. Yes you will, for a week of two. But then you will hit a plateau, meaning your metabolism is accustomed to the low calorie intake and starts storing everything you eat. Besides that, if you start eating normal again after eating almost nothing, you will gain the weight right back, plus more.
* Food is your friend, not your enemy. Eating (healthy) is going to bring you closer to your goal. Develop a healthy relationship with it and try to look at it as your friend. Together you will get there.
* Find out which kind of sports and exercise works for you. Last year I started working out in the gym pretty hard. I had a personal plan of cardio and lifting weights. However, I lost no weight at all. Yes, my body was more firm and tight, but my pants didn't fit anymore. So I was looking for other things, and what works amazingly for me is pilates. Due to doing intensive competitive swimming while growing up, my body is very muscular and athletic like. Besides that, Im about 5''3.5, so I add muscle pretty quick. With pilates I focus on other muscle groups, accentuating on the longer ones. (With weights you train the shorter muscles). Therefore, see what works for you. Maybe it is great for your friend, but every body reacts differently.
I can almost cry writing this, but for the first time in six months I'm feeling some happiness. With this I mean that I have hope again. I understand that sometimes we go through rough times, but come better out of it. I am slowly feeling alive again. I am making jokes and am learning to take care of myself. You know why? We are here for a reason. And sometimes you don't find the reason you are here. Which is alright, you don't have a guide in your life. But when you lose hope and have suicidal thoughts it is time to take control of your life again. And for me that took awhile, but somehow life turned for me. I am not sure what caused this huge change in the past three weeks, but what I do know that God has a plan for me. And it is time for me to let him guide me, instead of planning my own life. Sorry for the rambling ;)
I hope you have a great day