HOPE - hold on, pain ends

This four letter word makes me get up in the morning. It brings me new dreams and the motivation to continue. It brings me joy and wipes away my tears. 

Motivation struggles - Fitness

I want to talk about motivation, something that pushes us to do things we usually don´t feel like doing. Today I lacked motivation, a lot, to go to the gym. I had set my mind to go after school, packed my bag and other stuff. But when school was finished I found myself moving the opposite direction, going home. I was so not motivated to go, I just didn´t care. Now that I am writing this I feel like a loser. Why did I not go? Why do I feel so lazy now, and like a failure. I told myself on Saturday and Sunday that I would go on Monday for sure. And now I didn't. And like one time is such a big deal, but the same thing happened to me last week. I was so motivated, and now I don't care any more. 

So I need to go back to the beginning, when I was so motivated and able to encourage myself everyday to go. Why did I started working out? To loose some weight and being able to fit old clothes. To be in the best shape I had ever been in and to feel confident and happy. I have lost track since 2-3 weeks, and want to go back to my schedule before. I think the biggest reason for me quitting was that I wasn't loosing any weight at all. It is so frustrating, I changed my diet, worked out hardcore but did not loose anything, I actually gained three pounds. And I know what they say, you probably gained muscle and lost inches. My body is definitely tighter but stepping onto that scale every week and not seeing any result made my heart drop. I want to change my focus of loosing weight into being confident and having a fit body. In my case that is much more realistic and doable. I am not overweight, but just feel better when I would loose a couple of pounds. 

My new goals
1. Fit into old clothes
2. Feeling confident
3. Being stronger
4. Being in the best possible shape I have ever been
5. Being happy --> When you are happy on the inside it shows on the outside. 

One verse I always tell myself, probably everyday is 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. That means that there is something each day that I am struggling with and have no motivation to do. It is a verse for encouragement, motivation and fearing no fear.  

And Matthew tells us

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

For other people it can be so easy to tell you things; do it, you will feel better. But ultimately, you need to find motivation from yourself. And when found from within, you will feel so proud when accomplished. We all need to do tasks, or give ourselves a list of things to do. But actually doing them is the hard part. Think of tomorrow, or a week from now. How are you going to feel when you do them today? Or how are you going to feel when you don't do them? How you want to feel next week is up to you. So do it today and feel better next week. Do it today and you will have no regrets. 

I AM going to the gym tomorrow. I WILL do a home workout tonight, and will give my everything to keep on going. 

Hugs from the biggest procrastinator of all times

Letter to my future husband

Here I am another night wondering what you are doing. Where are you, what is keeping you busy...Are you safe, do you have worries, are you longing to me as much as I am to you? I wonder when God will let us meet. I know he is kneading my heart at the very moment, and is keeping me comfort for the time I have to wait until I can see you. I wonder what the colours of your eyes are. Do you have brown hair as I envisioned? Are you in college or did you graduate already. Working a 9 to 5 job or sitting at home waiting for a job offer. Did we already meet or do you live at the other side of the planet?

Whoever and wherever you are, I am praying for you. I pray that God will keep you safe. May He take your worries away, and be with you everyday. I hope you are surrounded by people you love and whom love you back. I cannot wait to meet you and get to know you better. To get to know the real you, your past and start  our future.

I am waiting, a little anxiously. Keep safe and see you soon.
Love, Jessica