Hows life? little update

A lot has happened the past months..heck the past year. As can be read in my previous posts, I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for about six months now. To say six months out loud feels strange. I feel like it's shorter, although it's like I've been unhappy forever.

I can tell that I'm trying my hardest to get out of my depression, but it is harder and takes longer then expected. My anxiety is still high, which is just exhausting. I have been really tired and feeling different compared to the past three months. I'm kind of happy that I have lost around 9 pounds since the new year. Around  6 more and I hit my first goal. But besides from that I have just not been feeling well. I just don't know what is wrong with me. I'm cranky, not really patient and find it so difficult to enjoy life. I have been going on this symptom checker website, and they keep saying depression, anxiety and thyroid problems. I've always been tired and not interested in things, and my blood was tested but nothing ever came out to be causing the problem. Me any my doctor also thought about thyroid issues, but I guess it isn't. And sometimes I feel like my depression gets better, but than I have a huge step back, where I am wondering why I am alive as I feel like I have no purpose. All kind of heavy stuff, but I don't know how to break free from it. My anxiety has been kind of the same I guess, not changing a lot. 

I've looked on the internet for rooms for when I move to the university this summer. Nothing too special came up, or something that would fit me (and financially). And in about a month I get to go on a little vacation to central america, so I'm trying to stay busy focusing on that. 

But I just have to remember; 'there are always flowers for those who want to see them'.

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Conquer your fears

Everyone has fears. Even the people that you admire. People that seem so confident and inspire you. Then how come you don't notice fears in some people? Because they don't let their fears control their life. 

How to stop worrying

Everyone worries from time to time. This can range from whether our family members are safe to if you forgot to pack lunch for your son or daughter. It is almost impossible to live a life without any worries. That would almost mean that you don't really care, right? But after the 'normal' worries, it can get out of hand. This can lead to anxiety or depression.

Worrying usually has to do with a certain fear. It can be a repetition of something that has happened before or the fear/feeling can be new to you. It can also be something genetic or you have seen your one of your parents worry during your childhood. You might be unaware of this, but somehow it had an impact on how you deal with fears. Having a lot of responsibilities at a young age can make you more vulnerable to become a person with worries. This topic just depends on what kind of person you are and how you were brought up. 

Healthy living #2 - mental health

One of my most read posts is about healthy living, which can be found  here. This was mostly about eating the right foods and working out to stay healthy (and happy). However, those two things will not lead to the ultimate health that you want. Another big aspect, which might be even more important than physical health is your mental health. Diseases that have to do with your mind can impair your life in big ways and many people are not aware of this. You might be having a hard time, or someone at work is affected by depression. The big difference between most physical and mental disabilities is the visibility of them. Your mental health is often not seen from the outside; family or friends may not know you are suffering. Sometime you are not even aware of your own state of mind. It can be years before you are diagnosed with bipolar or anxiety. When we don't feel well we often don't think that this has to do with our own mental health. However, sometimes we have to look beyond the usual headache.