I have a journal that, occasionally, I find time to write whatever is on my mind. Six weeks ago I wrote down goals I have for this semester. I guess I had already forgotten about them, but today I scrolled through and had a little reminder. The things with these goals is that I never really looked back at them. I wrote them in that moment, closed my journal only to open it six weeks later. But…the semester ain't over yet, so I still have a chance. I have actually, unknowingly, already met a lot of them.
Get up before 12
I know, this sounds awful, but it is a real goal for me. When I had depression, this almost, no.. it was impossible. But I am sure that at all times I have gotten up before 12. So for me, this is a big victory. Even though it feels like there is nothing worth to get up for, I did it anyways. And It made me feel better physically and it helps to go to bed on time.
Keep a schedule/ daily rhythm
This is related to my previous goal, but so hard. It was difficult to change my schedule. I would get up around 1PM, and go to bed around 2.30AM. Somehow I managed to change that. The previous week I actually got up around 7.30 and it felt so good. I understand this is a normal or even 'late' time for some people to get up, but for me it was unusual. Victory II!
Healthy choices
I guess I made healthy choices regarding food choices and options. But I wasn't so healthy when it came to my calorie intake. I lost 15 lbs and got so excited that I started eating less to a point it was difficult to function. It was not even to lose more weight, but where I couldn't physically eat anymore. This weekend was a good wake up call when I realized that eating so little was impossible and unhealthy. Crazy! So this is both a yes and no.
What I meant with this goal is that my mental health comes first. If I feel anxious I don't force myself to do something. Right now I am focusing on myself and feeling comfortable. And I have really succeeded on putting myself first.
Letting down my walls & letting people in
Over the years I have put up huge walls, making it difficult to let other people in. I am aware of this and am learning to trust people. Not easy, but so worth it. I noticed that acceptance and awareness of this was the first step.
Study & attend 3/4 of lectures
So I totally failed this goal so far, but my professor is so boring. During his lectures I can be much more effective doing something else. I went today and was wondering what I was doing there. I still don't know what we talked about today because there was no structure and topic. He is a philosopher, so he just likes to talk about anything and everything ;).
Let things happen
I need to be more spontaneous. I like to be cautious to prevent anything surprising to happen, while that is what makes life more fun. That is where you make some of the best memories. I need to learn to stop saying no to everything and start saying yes. Yet to happen!
