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3/28/2015

How to be more spontaneous

As an introvert I'm not one to to make decisions without over thinking and taking into account all the consequences. I don't just say yes to something and need time to think it over and over and over again. Sometimes even I get tired of my own thought process. Why can't I just say yes to an idea without the usual checklist in my head with the advantages and disadvantages. 

One of my goals for this spring is to be more spontaneous. That is, to make at least one decision the coming months that I had not planned or that I keep weighing in my head. I know some people tend to make decisions too quickly and not thinking about it, while I am the worst when it comes to making decisions, and actually saying yes. To be safe and prevent anything eventful to happen I just say no. And the reason I say no? I think due to 2 things; anxiety and habit. If you say NO to things often enough it becomes a habit. I always have an excuse ready to go when someone invites me. But the thing is, people will stop inviting you because they can already guess your answer. So to surprise them, I will say yes this time. 

#1 Stop saying no

This is one of the most important reasons that I lack spontaneity. I am so used to saying no, it is a standard answer to every question I get. No, I don't feel well. I have to study. I'm tired, I didn't sleep for three days. I have to babysit. I'm not at home. I have an appointment. Etc. The list is on-going, I have made so many excuses it is ridiculous. Perhaps this is familiar to you? And there is a big difference to saying no every once in a while and each time, which I'm guilty of. 

#2 Break routines

I think routine and spontaneity are two opposites of each other. Do you have any standard daily routines that you get tired off? A standard exercise regimen, evening routine? Try changing things up. Take note of your routine, even if you think you have none. Awareness, as in many cases, is the first step to change. The second step would be small changes. What would you like to be different, and do you think this is possible? Switch the order of two or three tasks around. Add a new habit to your lifestyle, and delete one of your old ones. 

#3 Be less predictable

As I said in my introduction, my friends know me now as the person that skips almost everything. They probably think, why bother asking her, I already know what she is going to say. So change things up and surprise people. Try to do or say the opposite of what people think you are most likely to do. This will also make it clear to them that I can enjoy  going out instead of being by myself all the time. 

#4 Be realistic

No, you don't have to pack your bags and run away to Europe or go on a big adventure. But yes, a road trip can do. A sudden shopping trip is acceptable. It is not go big or go home. It is about stop planning things and start doing them without planning. But that doesn't mean that the number in your bank account suddenly increased. Or that there aren't any risks involved. You can still be spontaneous but be a realist. It doesn't have to involve big things. It is those small habits that you are used to that 

#5 Try something new

How about breaking your old habit or your safety blanket and take that art class that you always wanted to try. Who cares that you might not be good at it. Aren't you supposed or allowed to have fun? It is, as easy as it sounds, even better if it is something that you were scared to try before. If you are known for the couch potato, why not challenge yourself to be more active. Or try the 'couch to 5k' run, or choose healthier dinner options.  

Be yourself
I think the most important thing is to not change yourself to meet other people needs or expectations. It is important to stay true to yourself and don't push yourself too much or beyond your own limits and comfort zone. Stepping out of your comfort zone is an amazing thing, but do it for yourself. Feeling a little uncomfortable is alright, but it is not about punishing yourself. 

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