Today was my first real day living here by myself. I slept really well, but woke up with a bad cold, sore throat and itchy nose. The grocery store opened at 12 so I went there to get some stuff to eat this week. I got back and made myself go to the city centre to get a laptop sleeve. Oh men that was really crazy. So many people, on a sunday, and I got a little overwhelmed. I had to find out the way by using google maps street view to recognize where I had to go. As a welcome home surprise the city decided to cut out some main roads, so I had to re-plan my route. But I made it :) After I got what I needed I decided to leave again. Although I wanted to see more, it was just too busy to wander around and enjoy the city views. Now I'm back in my room and getting anxious. What the heck was I thinking…moving all the way out here. I feel sad, lonely and lost. But I found out that the introduction day only lasts one day, so I decided to go home right afterwards. Since I don't know anybody yet it doesn't make sense to lock myself in my room for the rest of the week. Why not enjoy the time I have left at home, playing games and walking with my dog.
I find myself rethinking this decision. I feel like settling with someone, having a steady home, friends, church. But I know I have to have an education. In three years I will have a degree, and it will fly by. All of these mixed feelings are driving me crazy. What to do? I don't feel home in this city, but of course cannot judge only having been here for two days.