Dear future me

 Dear me,

In five years from now you will be 26. Sounds a little old right now. Maybe not old, but I will be out of that college phase. Did I enter the real world already? Am I working a 9 to 5 job? In three years from now I hope to graduate from college. That makes me 24. For you two years ago. Or maybe one if things get delayed(knock on wood). I wonder if you have met 'the one' already. I would expect and hope so. I hope you have found that person to share your life with, knowing how important it is for you. Are you living where you dreamt of living? Colorado or California. You wanted to live somewhere sunny or with beautiful nature. Maybe your priorities have shifted. Something, a job or guy, came along and you were settling for something else.

At the moment I'm spending most of my money on college tuition and rent, traveling and beauty supplies. Perhaps at 26 I'm spending it at a little house or a wedding dress. My first car or a masters degree…who knows. Currently I am living the hardest year of my life. And you thought it would be the year of your exchange....Do you remember quitting college because your heart told you so? You never thought this decision would bring you in such a low place. But in the end it was all worth it. You were so determined to not be unhappy for the rest of your life. If you wanted to change the path it was the right time to do so. And in the end, it was for the better, although at times it felt like the biggest failure in the world. A week ago I sent in my application for my new major at a university far far away. So scared, yet excited. 

Don't forget the person you have become. Don't forget all those years building your confidence. Don't let anyone bring you down. Don't forget to travel, your favorite thing to do. Let people into your life, not everyone has bad intentions. Accept your flaws, accept the person you are today. If all your wishes didn't came true, if your dreams you wrote down were not achieved, it doesn't matter. You are only 26, so many years yet to come.  

At last I want to say I am so proud of how far you've come. So far you have battled an eating disorder, (social) anxiety, several rounds of depression…Feeling like you have failed at life and being by yourself. All I hope and dream for you for the next five years is physical and mental well being. If you only knew how proud you can be of the person you are today. You are strong, kind and a positive influence on the people around you. You never judge someone and are so open minded. Don't ever change that for no one. Stay true to yourself and love the person you are. Remember Jess, ''even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise again''. Keep your chin up and eyes towards the sun beams. Don't forget the dreams that were placed into your heart. They have been and are still there for a reason.

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