Exams….

I have passed my midterm exam…yay! I was beyond excited when I found out my grade, I had never thought I'd passed. The morning of the exam I woke up feeling miserable. I forced myself to eat but I couldn't, the smell would make me want to vomit. The exam was at 9 so I got up around 6 to look over everything again. I was so not productive. Then at the university I walked to the exam hall and there it was…my food from last night looking for a way to get out. Seriously, 10 feet before the exam entrance I was throwing up..So embarrassing! I tried my best but afterwards I could not remember a lot of things that were supposedly in the exam. I was sure I failed, and the month before we got out grade took forever. But all of a sudden the paper said I passed. What? I am so thankful, and this was the exact motivation to reassure myself that I chose the right major and moving to the other side of the country was not such a bad idea after all. I received the results the day before my next exam, but this one didn't went that well. The formulation of the exam questions was so tricky, that it was difficult to choose the right answer. Around christmas I will find out this grade, but for me there is less pressure to pass this one as it was with the first exam. I just needed to be ensured that I had made the right decisions. 

At last I want to share this picture that I reblogged on tumblr. These words mean a lot to me. Living with any kind of mental illness is hard enough on its own, but the fact that people do not understand this makes it even harder. I live with a lot of shame and embarrassment, and every once in a while I need to be reminded that I am one bad ass fighter. 

I hope that anyone who reads this and is in the same boat as me, I hope you believe this. You are strong, beautiful and beyond courageous for living this battle everyday. I know people often don't acknowledge mental illness, or underestimate the power of it..but you are such a strong human being. The fight will end, you have to keep hoping and knowing that at some point your battle will be over. You can always talk to me if you need anyone to talk about this. I somehow know what you are going through <3