Recovery - those days

No one ever told me about mental illness, or the aftermath of it. No one mentioned that it is not just the period of mental illness itself that is difficult. After time, it is followed by an almost just as difficult period, called recovery.

Those days that you are wondering if you are back at where you started.
Those days living in fear, of what will I become.
Those days afraid of falling into a deep depression once all over again.
Those days dreaming of what could have been, what should have been.
Those days where all you can think about are your years lost to depression.
Those days where you are angry at what happened to you. But what to get angry at?

But also,

Those days where, in thanksgiving, you realize that you are still here.
Those days where you find that whatever you are doing right now, there is a reason for your presence on this planet.
Those days that make you realize that life can offer good things.
Those days where you can feel the sunbeams on your face, and get to feel warmth again.
And those days where you feel a sparkle of hope, for today, tomorrow and the future.